15 Feb 2014 Valentine’s Service – Kong Hee
There are 3 things that matter most to people, according to a survey done.
Health and Money was important, but the most important one was relationships.
-Relationships determine your happiness.
It can make you feel great or miserable.
-Relationships determine your success.
EQ is greater than IQ. How you get along with others.
-Relationships determine your character.
The thoughts you have in your life. Who you spend time with, etc
33 Do not be deceived: “Evil company corrupts good habits.” 1 Cor 15:33
The essence of any great relationship is love.
What Is Love? Love is 3 things:
#1 Love Is Chemistry
It’s a feeling. You enjoy spending time with the person, the fellowship, the friendship.
In Chinese, we call it “谈恋爱”. Talk think love.
11 Then Jacob kissed Rachel, and lifted up his voice and wept. Gen 29:11
Sustain me with cakes of raisins,
Refresh me with apples,
For I am lovesick.
Love is a privilege that we humans get to experience. You can program the computer to print “I love you” many times but it can’t feel love!
Scientists say that when we are in love, our brain releases chemicals (dopamine, norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin, endorphin) that make us feel high and euphoric, so happy that we feel we are in heaven.
However those feelings will start to fade. The greatest challenge is finding ways to STAY in love. For many couples the loving feeling starts to fade away after the honeymoon or after having a baby.
#2 Love Is A Choice
You got to choose to love, again and again. If you truly love somebody, you got to work hard for the relationship. It is hard work! If you only know love as a feeling, then you are a shallow lover! Love is a choice that we have to make again and again.
4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. 1 Cor 13:4-8
When you can find love, you’ll always find God because God is love.
Love opens us up, it makes us vulnerable. The closer the person, the more you feel the pain when those expectations you have are not met. You lose your patience. In that moment you need to remember that love is patient.
When the person is annoying, remember love is kind.
When you know you’re right.. Love does not envy and boast, it is not proud.
When you know your someone did something wrong and you feel the need to gossip.. Love does not dishonor.
When you want to take revenge.. Love keeps no record of wrong.
In all things choose to love. You are no longer shallow but mature. Loving with actions when you don’t feel like doing it is the highest form of love.
18 My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth. 1 Jn 3:18
Some studies have shown that men who kiss their wives in the morning miss less work because of illness than those who do not, have fewer auto accidents on the way to work, earn 20 to 30 percent more monthly, and live five years longer than those who don’t.
4 Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love. 5 Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do the first works, or else I will come to you quickly and remove your lampstand from its place—unless you repent. Rev 2:4-5
Your actions will change your feelings. If you do loving actions, you will get loving feelings.
True love is never passive. Love is the choice to benefit others at the expense of yourself.
#3 Love Is A Commitment
Commitment is the foundation of any marriage. People will change, chemistry will wane, but a covenant endures forever.
It’s not a contract because contracts have escape clauses. You will never stick it out in your marriage if you have an escape route. Replace the word divorce with the word commitment.
True love is when you choose one person above all, and then celebrate that choice for as long as you live.
Choose your love and love your choice!
The Daily Mail reports on a married couple of 72 years newspaper, who were totally committed to each other in life and in death..
Commitment means being willing to be unhappy for awhile until you work things out.
“For the Lord God of Israel says
That He hates divorce,
For it covers one’s garment with violence,”
Says the Lord of hosts.
“Therefore take heed to your spirit,
That you do not deal treacherously.”
You will never build a great marriage if divorce is an option.
5 Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. Rom 5:5
Love others with the love of God that has been poured out in our hearts!