Father To Our Children
15 Jun 2013 Father’s Day Service – Kong Hee
6 Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me. John 14:6
The Jews knew God as Abba father, Adonai, Elohim… But more importantly Father.
Looking from a fathers’ perspective, how should fathers play their role properly in their children’s lives?
When we do fatherhood well, we experience a fulfillment and joy that comes from nowhere else.
You will influence your child’s entire life!
Knowledge is important but timing is also crucial.
3 To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven:
Ask an eight year old what they want to be when they grow up, they will all say they want to be heroes. They are faithful to their moral convictions, are willing to sacrifice themselves to protect everyone else.
That’s how every son and daughter want their father to be, a hero! Someone that’s bigger than life!
There are 5 ways to be a hero to our children:
#1 Lead them
Kids recognise your deep low voice, and see you as a strong man, someone who can protect them.
They will never feel good about themselves until their dad feels good about them! Every child wants his dad to be proud of him! Persevere in your moral convictions.
Heroes turn their setbacks into comebacks. Don’t let your setbacks stop you from doing the right thing!
#2 Love them
Our relationships with our father often affect how our lives turn out.
For every son, you are the first person they look up to. You are his hero even before Jesus became his hero. He will follow your ways.
For every daughter. You are her first love. Every man in her life will be compared to you. If you are cold to her then she will find it hard to express and receive love as well from other men.
Love must be pressed into every child’s being so that they can live a sound life. How?
A. Words: Speak positive affectionate loving words. If you can’t say it then write it.
B. Time: Give quality time to your kids.
If love doesn’t carry a man beyond himself it is not love. Oswald chambers
Let them know that whatever they do, you will never reject them.
13 As a father pities his children,
So the Lord pities those who fear Him.
#3 Discipline them
God sets boundaries
11 My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord,
Nor detest His correction;
12 For whom the Lord loves He corrects,
Just as a father the son in whom he delights.
10 For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but He for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness. Heb 12:10
The way we raise our kids will affect the way our kids view God. If we don’t set boundaries they will think that God has no moral convictions. On the other hand if the discipline is too extreme they think that God is condemning and judging.
If discipline is too soft they will never learn. If it is too hard you will drive them away. There needs to be a balance.
4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. Eph 6:4
21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. Col 3:21
Rule of thumb : for every correction you bring, you need to encourage with positive things twice as much.
6 Train up a child in the way he should go,
And when he is old he will not depart from it.
#4 Model Humility
3 (Now the man Moses was very humble, more than all men who were on the face of the earth.) Num 12:3
Meekness is not weakness.
5 Blessed are the meek,
For they shall inherit the earth.
Humility is a starting point in everything great in life. You can’t repent unless you humble yourself.
12 And whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted. Matt 23:12
If you want promotion in life, be humble!
Humility means having a proper perspective of yourself. Recognising your strengths but at the same time acknowledging your weaknesses.
Knowing that we are not perfect, that we are broken down. And yet knowing that we are of great great worth to God.
31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things? 33 Who shall bring a charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies.
37 Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. 38 For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, 39 nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:31-33, 37-39
It is okay to pursue happiness, but don’t make it your goal!
If we make happiness of ultimate goal, then it can be a justification for self indulgence. It will encourage selfishness, that’s how kids become spoilt. Your craving for happiness can in fact lead to unhappiness.
Happiness is truly found when it is routinely denied.
11 Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: 12 I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. 13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philip 4:11-13
21 Then Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said to him, “One thing you lack: Go your way, sell whatever you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, take up the cross, and follow Me.”
22 But he was sad at this word, and went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions. Mk 10:21-22 – this man was rich and young, and Jesus loved him. Jesus was not against that. Jesus was against money having him.
He was possessed by his possessions.
Self indulgence is easy, it takes no strength in character. Humility teaches us self restraint and rules. It teaches us responsibility.
Humility has to be modeled. It has to be caught not taught.
#5 Teach them who God is
Don’t push God to them but model it to them. Let them see you read the bible, be caring to others, how you speak of others, especially at church. Let them hear you pray, praise and worship.
12 “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you. Exo 20:12
This is the only commandment with a promise.